What's all this then?
I thought it might be useful to write a bit about why I started this Community and what my aims are within this space.
Self-identification has never been straightforward for me. Trying to fathom for myself, “what,” I am has been a struggle and over the years the conflict between how I feel about myself and how others perceive me had pushed and pulled me in many different directions. Trying to fit in but forever feleling like an Other is hard. You’re not white enough, you’re not brown enough. Being racially ambiguous sparks conversation wherever you go. So for now it’s finally time to say that only I get to decide and no one gets to challenge me in what I say I am. I think people will be shocked to learn how often people try to tell me what I am and am not. It can feel as though you have no right or ownership of certain parts of yourself.
I am the sum of all my parts and that makes me whole – not half of anything anymore!
Deciding to start this project has been very confronting for me. I’ve actually had to gear myself up to describing myself definitevely as Mixed race this way once and for all. I’ve been labelled by other people all of my life. When I’m in conversation I pick and chose different labels for myself according to the situation I’m in and who’s asking. Sometimes to convince myself that I’m the one in control….in control of how others see me; and that’s just not true. They will always make assumptions and decide for themselves and there’s never going to be a way I can control that. So, I’ve stopped trying to.
Uusally I say I’m Asian because the person asking only wants to know why I’m a bit brown. So they can decide what they think of me – what bias do they hold against me? I’m embracing this Mixed label and I encourage you to embrace the fullness of your identity too. I realise now that it was white gaze which defined me for too long. The sad part is that I know in making this “declaration” I might alienate myself from some of my Asian side because I’m highlighting my partial whiteness.
Publically declaring myself as Mixed race the way I am now has felt hard for all of these reasons and so many more. But it’s so empowering – it’s like giving two fingers to both sides – the ones who Other me in every situation! No one said this would be easy I guess!!!
I’m so happy to have you here. This site and community focuses on my lived experience of growing up Mixed race in the UK and my journey of self-identification. So whether you are Mixed and want to find a Community or you want to learn more about the Mixed race experience – welcome to a wholly inclusive space where we actively defend marginalised people and accept all identities. Please respect that while you are here – this isn’t just applicable to race but applies to all forms of identity. You are welcome here – however you choose to show up you will be always be welcomed with open arms and a cup of cha. I’ve got bags of Mixed Bestie Energy just for you…and I can’t wait to connect with you and deliver just that.
I would also like to take this opportunity to make clear that I support and welcome people from all branches of the LGBTQIA+ community. I recognise that any intersections you have by being Mixed and identifying as part of the LGBTQ community will mean that you may have an even more nuanced experience. I will always hold space for you and do what I can to protect and defend your human rights. In any page or space that I run I will actively call out and hate speech to keep this community a safe space for all its members. Trans rights are human rights and Trans lives matter. My pronouns are she/her/they, please let me know what yours are in our communication. If there are ways that I can better support you then please reach out to me via the contact page
